Post #5: Love and Marriage, pt. 1

The honor of officiating a friend's wedding is by far the best "hat" I wear as the County Clerk and Recorder.

As the elected Ventura County Clerk and Recorder, I am also the County Commissioner of Civil Marriages. Our office issues approximately 4,800 marriage licenses every year, and our staff, as Deputy Commissioners, will perform about 2,500 ceremonies in our office, in the beautiful Mark A. Lunn Wedding Room. On occasion, I will personally officiate a wedding for a close friend, but it's extremely rare -- I'm averaging less than one ceremony a year!

• The first wedding (top-left photo) was in 2021, for my friend Lisa and her fiance Eric. Lisa, Eric and I worked together at VRSD and Lisa and I stayed friends even after I'd left for the City of Oxnard. It was a small, simple ceremony at the Santa Paula Theater and I was thrilled to see them both so happy and to get to meet their families.

  
  

• In 2022 (top-right photo), I married a former coworker to a current coworker: Tim had worked with me at the City of Oxnard and when I left to join the County, his fiance Maruja became my new coworker! When they decided to tie the knot, Maruja reached out to me and we planned it in secret, not letting Tim know that I would be the one officiating. He was surprised and happy to see me again, and I got to meet their adorable little daughter Luna, who of course was the flower girl. Tim cried through the whole thing, it was too cute.

  
  

• The next wedding (bottom-left) came in 2024. Bryan MacDonald, then Mayor Pro Tem at the City of Oxnard whom I'd served with when I was the elected City Clerk, contacted me on behalf of his mother-in-law Annette, who was planning to marry her fiance Ramon. I provided the information they were seeking and, on an impulse, offered to officiate if they were interested. Indeed they were, and soon made an appointment for the ceremony in our office. Bryan's wife Lorraine got to play ring-bearer for her mom and there were many smiles and laughs.

  
  

• My most recent ceremony (bottom-right), in 2025, was the result of my friends Bill and Sonia asking if I could officiate a small wedding in their home in Port Hueneme. I was more than happy to, and Sonia went the extra mile to transform their living room into a beautiful little wedding chapel. Surrounded by generations of family, they exchanged their vows and there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

As someone who cried through her entire wedding 25+ years ago (ask David, he'll tell you!), it's a struggle every time to not get choked up when performing a friend's wedding. It's such an impactful moment, to unite two lives for a new future. And it's when I say those powerful words at the very end -- "By the power vested in me, by the State of California as the County Commissioner of Civil Marriages" -- that my throat closes the tightest, feeling the full significance of the occasion. No matter how many weddings I do, I hope to always feel that magic.

--Michelle Ascencion